What Happens in Badfics!
by Shadow of Eckhart
Summary: Ash, in my personal universe of creepy fangirls, people who are totally OOC, and an annoying narrator  me . What could possibly go wrong? So much breaking the 4th wall though. This was done on purpose for the record.


**You know how an author suddenly decides to write a fic on two characters they want to get together? This is called shipping, and being the King of Ships (ask anyone) I decided to write this. It is a special shout out to two authors I look up to a lot, Sunbean and Ukaisha. For the record I made this OOC on purpose to show you what horror fangirls can create.**

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><p>Ash, Brock, and Dawn were slowly making their way to the Pokemon League when they were stopped by a girl wearing red clothes and a bandana.<p>

"Ash, I finally found you!" She cried out happily, as she ran towards him and grabbed him into a choke hug, "I've been looking for you all this time, and abandoned my dream of being a top coordinator, just to tell you that I lo-"

"Hold it sister, Ash is mine!" Dawn said protectively as she grabbed hold of him as well, "Or, at least that's what's written in my script!"

Ash, being torn to pieced by these two girls turned to Brock for help, who apparently had been instructed to do nothing but fawn over every other girl who walked by, "Sorry Ash, it isn't in my script."

"Ash, I love you!"

"No, I love you!"

Ash, now being tortured into submission by these girls let out a loud scream, "I don't love either of you!"

The two girls stopped in shock as tears welled up in their eyes even though they're supposed to be strong and independent. At the sight of this the narrator (which is me for the time being) suddenly began throwing shoes at Ash.

"Ow, hey, what is this!" He yelled, trying to deflect the incoming volley of shoes.

May and Dawn were still hopelessly bawling their eyes out until Paul and Drew came up to them.

"Don't cry May, I love you." Drew uncharacteristically cooed as he held May's face in his hand, "I've loved you for a long time but I've just been too shy to say it." (Also cliche)

"Dawn, I know I'm not good with my feeling but ever since I've met you, I've been in love." Paul declared picking the blue-haired girl up. The two females instantly stopped crying and began snuggling into their shipmates chest.

"Okay, what the heck is going on?" Ash screamed at the curtain who just threw a shoe at him in response, "Alright I'm leaving."

Ash disappeared into the forest to hide from the ravaging fangirls, while Brock continued to fawn over girls because obviously thirteen year old girls think that's all he's good for. Honestly, you'd think they would put some effort into making him responsible and caring, sheesh!

(Meanwhile, elsewhere... What? You want to know where the 'elsewhere' is? I can't tell you, Ash is trying to hide, remember?)

"I think I'll be safe here." Ash sighed, sitting down on a mossy rock, feeling he was safe he let his guard down, but at that moment a girl with orange hair appeared.

"Ash, I've abandoned my post as the Cerulean Gym Leader just to see you!" Misty cried out, even though it has been shown numerous times they're just friends.

"Misty! Not you too!" Ash wailed before he was wrapped in a large hug. Suffocating him and trying to pull him into a kiss, Ash was able to push her away; saving his chastity.

He immediately stood up and ran to the west-east of the forest... What? West-east isn't an actual direction? Silly readers, it's just like north-east, or south-east, except this time it's west-east. What kind of maps have you been looking at?

Ash, finally being able to stumble away crawled into a conveniently placed house in the middle of the forest. He walked inside and sat down, taking a few breaths of air before the door was abruptly kicked down by Misty.

"Ash, it's not like I want to chase you around, it's just that stupid narrator!" Misty yelled as she shook her fist at the curtain the narrator (me for the moment) was hiding behind.

"Oh, okay. I think we'll be safe from the narrator here." Ash smiled as as he stretched a little. However, unbeknownst to the two an evil force was arriving!

"I am here to place a curse upon you, Ask Ketchum!" A voice boomed.

"Huh, who is it?"

Suddenly a young boy wearing a a green collar shirt and glasses tripped into the cabin.

"Max, are you okay?" Ash asked helping the younger boy up.

"Huh? Oh yeah! I'm fine." He said scratching his head as he laughed sheepishly, "I just need to put a curse on you and go."

"A curse? Why?"

"Oh, because in the future, on a website called Fanfiction, there will be a lot of creepy people trying to force you into lemons, PWP, and other forced relationships like this narrator is doing right now!" Max explained while shaking a fist at my, I mean the narrator's curtain, "but am I the only one who hears it?"

"Hear what?"

"It's like a voice narrating our lives, yours, mines, everyone's!" Max exclaimed flailing his arms a little.

"Really? That's weird, I blame EWW (Evil Weird Woman), or fangirls." Mist shurgged. "So, what's this about a curse Max?"

"Oh, right!" The boy smiled holding out a box like.. Pokenav... pocky box... thing. "With the power of Pocky and pokemon knowledge, I give Ash the curse of never being forced into creepy PWP lemon things!" Max exclaimed in a dramatic tone as lightning flashed outside.

... Was that it? Everyone blinked a bit before Max started laughing, "Okay that's it, see you later Ash!" And the boy left the cabin leaving a confused Misty and Ash behind.

Weird...

"Oh, I need to get to the Pokemon League!" Ash exclaimed, as he stood up, "Gotta go Misty!"

... Did Ash really leave Misty alone. When they were in an unoccupied cabin in the middle of the forest? At night time? Wow, the curse worked! Ah-em... Anyways~

Guided by the awesome and mysterious powers of a fanfic that has the convenient universal ability to fast-forward time, Ash arrived at the Sinnoh League! Where he lost miserably against this weird guy who was totally godmodding, honestly I have no idea what the writers were thinking.

After that, Ash left for the Unova region where he is journeying happily!

... That is, until the fangirls get him.

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><p><strong>And that's it. I'd like to say a lot of these terms come from Ukaisha so I'd like to thank her, and I'd also like to thank Sunbean and her awesome fic guide! If your fics were anything like this, they need help.<strong>

**The only crack-fic I'll ever write! Unless I decided to put in another chapter... Not happening.**


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